Thursday, October 2, 2008

Summing it Up: Late September

Ok! As we move into a whole new month for James Call: Expert, I'm going to quickly sum up what's come so far. Some of you have noted that my posts are a bit long and maybe difficult to follow. So just read THIS post... I'm about to break it all down into soundbytes for y'all.

What caused our financial meltdown?

Years of no oversight of finance, the growth of finance as a portion of our entire economy, all of us counting on our homes and credit cards instead of, say, earning a healthy wage, and this fucking sleight-of-hand chop-chop BS called "CDOs" in which really bad loans were bundled with good ones to look fantastic. And the heavy reliance on finance heavy hitters, even old, respectable ones, on said BS.

Is John McCain's little "suspending his campaign" gambit gonna work?

I (sort of) called it - it did not. It just made McCain look stupid. Like everything else these days.

Who won the debate?

I was more or less right about this too. After all, I am very, very smart, and better than you. The debate was not a game changer. Obama is now said to be the winner of the debate, based on the visuals. Only racism can stop Barack now... or maybe an attack on Iran?!? That would fucking ROCK.

What is the best starting class in 2nd Ed. Dungeons & Dragons?

The cleric. Good balance of fighting abilities and the "cure light wounds" spell. Also, a great angle around which to base a character.

Is the "Invisible Hand" a borderline theological concept?

Yeah. It's a handy thing to toss around at cocktail parties, but the mofos who take this shit without any grains of salt sound like Communist Party functionaries. Or, hardcore Catholics, I guess.

How has insta-polling affected our politics?

By making the candidates less "stern leader"-like and more "pandering buffoon"-like. But good pols still understand the importance of "staying the course". Notice the hit Obama took when caving on FISA, for instance.

Assorted ridiculous questions

The Dove is just a glorified Pigeon. It's an Angel Rat with Wings.

Are we headed towards super fun Nazi time?

Probably not. But who knows, we could get Obama '08 and if he turns out to be Jimmy Carter II, Palin in '12, and lord knows that would be terrifying, would it not? But we didn't go (all out) Nazi under Dubya, so I still sort of believe in America.

Do we really need this bailout?

Yep, to keep business running. But it sucks. At this point, it truly is a "crap sandwich". It's a terrible fucking bailout. Can we please just nationalize this shit like they do in civilized countries?

Jews in Georgia? And ... UZBEKS?!?

Jews are everywhere! Especially the former Soviet Union. And, yeah, Uzbeks. Weird. Gotta a wicked sweet name for their ethnicity: "Uzbek". It just rolls off the tongue.

...And with that all said on done, please, BRING ON THE QUESTIONS!

Still angry at having to work as a file clerk,
James Call
Expert

1 comment:

adam said...

yo fool:

While your right that transportation, communications and basic utilities infrastructure in this country, much of which has been steadily decaying since the depression, are desperately in need of updates and repair, I don't see how you can endorse the use of atomic power. Even if you ignore the possibility of nuclear catastrophe (which is certainly plausible given the complete lack of government oversight, rampant corruption and incompetence in America) atomic power plants have never been efficient. They generally end up losing money and require government bailouts. Obtaining and refining uranium takes a lot of energy. So does transporting and storing the resulting toxic waste. Atomic power plants cost hella money to build and can only be used for a limited amount of time before they need to be replaced. Unlike power from solar, wind, tidal (etc) sources which are essentially limitless and cause little to no environmental destruction. These would not require the centralized corporate monopolies that currently control our public utilities. Of course these technologies aren't efficient enough yet to support our decadent American lifestyles, but if we spent a fraction of what we spend securing the last of the world's fossil fuels on "alternative" power sources, we'd be way closer to weaning ourselves off these power sources which are fast becoming completely obsolete.

Yeah, Obama says he's all for atomic power, but he also supports offshore drilling, ethanol and the mythological "clean coal" all of which will be environmentally disastrous and wont do dick in the long run for our "fuel crisis".

Anyways, I'm digging your cranky political rants and other expert opinions. I just hope you're not ignoring your duties as a rock star to write this shit. America needs another "when the first presidents conceived of space flight" almost as much as it needs to get rid of the fucking electoral college.