Saturday, September 27, 2008

More James Call: Dumbass

Readers "Damian" again, and "Kirstin," continue to ask me questions the answers to which I simply don't know. But I'll give it a shot for shits and giggles.

How are Pigeons and Doves related?

Look, a dove is basically a white pigeon, and it's total discriminatory bullshit that people call pigeons "rats with wings" and view the dove as symbolizing peace or whatever. Can we dream of a better world and leave this racism behind us? Also, "Dove" means "Where" in Italian.

Oh and I wanted you to explain why the hell they taught those Dolphins to sing the Batman theme.

Because people are retards! Come on, why not hook electrodes up the amazing brains of the dolphins and translate the electrical impulses into MIDI (Musical Instrument Digital Interface) information and quantize (push values to the closest absolute value, rhythmically) that shit and then release a slammin' post-modern album? People would rather hear the fucking stupid "Batman" theme, that's why. I want to kick Bruce Wayne in the nuts after hearing this.

RECOMMENDED READING: There was this awesome book about North American wildlife in my house when I was growing up, but I don't know what happened to it. Read that.

I promise to return to issues about which I actually know something very soon.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Please discuss why there is no talk about this. Could be one of the biggest environmental disasters of our time and not a peep out of any of the so called environmentalists. This is Obamas Katrina and not a word is being said. Imagine Bush at the helm and the reaction this would be getting. Shameful, shameful, shameful...